Be Less Judgmental

I’m well aware that I’m not the ugliest duckling in the pond, but I also have a lack of confidence that sometimes convinces me that I am. Also, I am aware that looks aren’t everything and sometimes – regardless of what other people think – some people simply find you gorgeous for reasons many others may find you ugly (such as flaws like being overweight, or having a scar, or tattoos, or whatever).

What am I trying to say here? I could name at least three people who I believe would happily date me were I to suggest it. But I am holding off on all of them because I look at them and think ‘you’re not physically good looking enough for me, regardless of how much I like you as a person’. Now, I know that there must be a physical attraction for any relationship to work, but I seem to deliberately put myself off based on their looks.

What I want in my vain side is a guy who has a nice, healthy/fit body who is well-dressed and has a nice handsome, perhaps a little rugged, face. But these people (when coupled with a gentlemanly, funny, charming personality) only exist in romantic comedies. What I usually get is someone with a good personality, but often looks I am a little ashamed of.

And I feel awful about that. Does anyone else experience this? I want to point out I am not a vain person at all! I don’t befriend people based on how they look or anything, but I’ve been single so long I’ve gotten a bit fussy, I think. My outlook on getting a guy has become a little skewed.

So, should I perhaps push looks aside entirely and go for a guy who isn’t the best looking but makes me laugh? Or should I hold out for Mr Perfect? It’s so stupid, I’m almost 30 I shouldn’t even be asking silly questions like that.

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