Working in an Office

Working in an office is all I’ve ever done. I’ve managed to work my way up from photocopy girl to a secretary for a Partner over the 11 years in total that I’ve been doing office jobs. I’ve literally never done anything else, aside from a two day stint in a fruit market, but I quit on the third day, because it was awful. I’ve never worked in a bar, never done food service, anything.

But I hate office work. Or should I say I’ve grown to hate it. I was looking up the retirement age for women in the UK recently and my jaw went through the two floors below me when I discovered it was 68 years old. I have to work until I’m realistically old enough to die of either old age (hey, it happens) or some other ailment I’ll no doubt have at that age. Wonderful.

This got me thinking: I cannot do this. I thought about sitting at the desk I’m at now, for 39 more years, doing the same thing for the rest of my life and it made me want to kill myself. I have awful GCSEs, no A Levels and at present, no degree (I just started a Bsc in Natural Sciences with a focus on Geology, but that’ll take me six years to complete… and then of course I have to pass) so getting a job when it seems everyone out there has paperwork that states they ain’t stupid, is near impossible. In the last few years I’ve sent out dozens and dozens of applications (probably about 60 to give a number) and I’ve not even gotten an interview.

My CV is fine. I embellish my talents quite well but never lie. My phone manner is great, my typing skills are second to none (100 words per minute, with approximately 97% accuracy), but I can’t even get a job as someone’s secretary because I don’t have a qualification telling me that I can sit at a desk and make coffee for some rich suit.

It’s painful. And I won’t do it for the next 39 years. Hell, I can’t. It’ll drive me mad!

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Skeleton Zak!

I love Ghost Adventures (totally addicted to that right now), but I love Aaron’s Vlog even more! Turns out that playlist I posted before wasn’t actually DVD extras, but the YouTube channel hosted by Aaron! How awesome. There’s over 300 videos, which makes me a happy girl. This one… oh, this one. I couldn’t stop laughing. So much fun.

Be Less Judgmental

I’m well aware that I’m not the ugliest duckling in the pond, but I also have a lack of confidence that sometimes convinces me that I am. Also, I am aware that looks aren’t everything and sometimes – regardless of what other people think – some people simply find you gorgeous for reasons many others may find you ugly (such as flaws like being overweight, or having a scar, or tattoos, or whatever).

What am I trying to say here? I could name at least three people who I believe would happily date me were I to suggest it. But I am holding off on all of them because I look at them and think ‘you’re not physically good looking enough for me, regardless of how much I like you as a person’. Now, I know that there must be a physical attraction for any relationship to work, but I seem to deliberately put myself off based on their looks.

What I want in my vain side is a guy who has a nice, healthy/fit body who is well-dressed and has a nice handsome, perhaps a little rugged, face. But these people (when coupled with a gentlemanly, funny, charming personality) only exist in romantic comedies. What I usually get is someone with a good personality, but often looks I am a little ashamed of.

And I feel awful about that. Does anyone else experience this? I want to point out I am not a vain person at all! I don’t befriend people based on how they look or anything, but I’ve been single so long I’ve gotten a bit fussy, I think. My outlook on getting a guy has become a little skewed.

So, should I perhaps push looks aside entirely and go for a guy who isn’t the best looking but makes me laugh? Or should I hold out for Mr Perfect? It’s so stupid, I’m almost 30 I shouldn’t even be asking silly questions like that.

The Doctor’s In…

I have a hospital appointment today. I hate these, they take up several hours for a five minute ‘hi how are you’ from my Consultant.

Quick bit of background for those confused: in 2010 I underwent treatment for Stage II Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma (Mediastinal Primary Diffuse Large B-Cell Lymphoma to give you the full name) and so now I have to periodically go back to have blood tests and update the doctor on how I’m feeling. They’re largely uneventful and I haven’t even had a scan in a year.

Long story short, it’s really boring. I also feel quite silly having to update my doctor on every cold, headache and ailment I have. Being required to monitor these things you get rather paranoid that every illness could lead to something much worse.

Couple weeks ago, for about three days, I had horrible muscle pain. Not aches, but it felt like I’d run two marathons in high heels. It was like really bad muscle soreness; I couldn’t move my legs, neck, stomach – oh man, my abs were killing me! I hadn’t even exercised, but whenever I stretched, coughed, even when I shifted about in my chair, I was in agony. Thankfully this stopped, but then I went home from work feeling like I was about to throw up one day. The following week I felt a bit iffy, and then had to book time off due to a stuffy head and sore throat which hasn’t quite gone yet.

Sounds like nothing, but my doc is required to know this in case he thinks that I’m displaying symptoms. It’s horrible thinking that a cold could be a sign of Cancer, but when you have what I had, an enlarged spleen occurs which leads to a lowered immune system, so you have to watch it.

Well hopefully my blood count will be regular, and the aches, pains and grossness is just a sign of a winter bug.

Aaron’s Vlog!

I only recently discovered Ghost Adventures, despite the fact that it’s been running for some time in the US (you can’t even buy the DVDs over in the UK, which is a terrible shame, as it’s way better than Most Haunted). Anyway, I assume this is an extra that comes with the DVDs, but here’s Aaron’s Vlog playlist, basically showing behind the scenes and funny moments of Ghost Adventures. If you’re a fan, enjoy!

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